Ramblings Of A Moviegoer #1

So I don’t read magazines, but I mysteriously received one in the mail the other day and it had an awesome article in it. Tried to find it online to link to this post, but I couldn’t find it. Out of Entertainment Weekly the article is called “How to Fix the Movies” and it’s by Anthony Breznican, Josh Rottenberg, and Benjamin Svetkey. I just hope Hollywood reads it. (This is for both movie-making, and movie-going. What’s in bold is from the article, what’s not is from me. And I only used some of the points from the article, that’s why there are missing numbers.)

“#1 For every jumbo-size, CGI-filled, action-adventure extravaganza a studio greenlights, it should commit to one modestly budgeted drama or comedy.”

Studios are (seemingly) only interested in one thing: make as much money as possible in as little time as possible. And they believe the only way to accomplish that is to pack a feature with as much action and special effects as they possibly can. You’d think they’d pick up on the little trend that we’re not all interested in Transformers 5 or Spider-Man 6 that are so full of special effects that you can’t even tell what the focal point is in some scenes. I don’t know about you guys, but I want some good movies back on the silver screens. I don’t want effects, I want plot. And if it’s done right the movie will easily make more money because more people will want to see it. Maybe even multiple times! That’s why Titanic held the top spot at the box office for over a decade. Everyone kept coming back to watch it! I want a good movie, not a headache.

“#2 Don’t remake good movies; remake bad ones.”

Remaking The Wizard of Oz is not possible; and anyone who tries will get torn to bits. Why would you try to touch such a timeless movie? Good movies do not need to be revamped. It’s the ones that couldn’t reach their full potential in the first place that need a second chance. For instance: Psycho. Really? I heard the remake was practically shot-for-shot exactly like the original. And here’s a clip of a comparison between the original and remake of the most famous scene. [YouTube link] (I don’t own the clip, I just found it. enterfilm1 uploaded it.) Now what was the point of that? There were honestly no other ideas in the studio that day?

“#3 Stop killing us with your popcorn.”

I, personally, love the popcorn at the movie theater. It’s that butter that’s disgusting. However this article went on to talk about calories and how everyone’s on a diet. We just need to face the music: there are some foods out there that are not low in the calorie range. I think theaters should have lower prices. It’s just ridiculous that concessions cost more money than the ticket to get in! Yes, that is where they make their money, but if the prices were lower, more people would be inclined to get stuff –or more stuff!– at the concession stand. I don’t want to pay $5 for a small bag of popcorn. You can get a box of popcorn packets at the grocery store for less than that. And I don’t need those big boxes of candy. But I can pretty much guarantee that for the same price you could probably get 2 humongous bags at Walgreens or something. You know, the kind you buy for Halloween.

“#4 Treat 3D like the good silverware: only bring it out for truly special occasions.”

As you have probably figured out if you read some of my previous blog posts, I have lost faith in the 3D special effects. I don’t think it’s necessary for every blessed feature that comes out, and it’s just another way to jack up prices in a struggling economy. Kids love it cuz they think it’s cool. In fact, they don’t care what movie it is, so long as they see it in 3D. But for me it has to work. And a total of five-minutes-worth of things actually headed in my direction in a two-hour-movie isn’t worth it. Keep it as a novelty, and do it right.

“#7 Before a film gets a green light, someone involved with the project– the director, the star, the boom-mic operator– has to believe it will be a good movie.”

This one ties in with #1 a bit. Everyone is so interested in marketing, whether it’s merchandise, or filling the seats on opening night, that they lose sight of making a good movie. We don’t need to make old TV shows in to movies. We don’t need to make board games into movies. Don’t make a movie just to make a movie. Do it because you have a vision that hasn’t been done before. Now there’s a thought!

“#10 Create separate screenings for schmucks.”

Seriously? Do we really need a Do’s and Don’t’s List for going to the movies now? Apparently. Don’t get on your cellphone in any way, shape, or form. You have no idea how much light that little device gives off in a large, dark auditorium. Don’t chat with your neighbor. Go to the mall, or Starbucks. When given the choice between your conversation or the movie playing on screen, 10 times out of 10 people will choose the movie. Try not to kick the seat in front of you. Even if there’s no one directly in front of you, it can be felt all the way down the row. Do make sure you have everything you are going to need before the movie starts. Especially if it’s a crowded showing, no one likes it when a person is constantly getting up and sitting down and getting up and sitting down.

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2 Responses to Ramblings Of A Moviegoer #1

  1. AdrianLewis says:

    “You’d think they’d catch on that not all of us are interested in a Transformers 5 or Spiderman 6…”

    I hate to say it babe, but the only reason they toss so much cash at sequels is because they DO sell. It is OUR fault that they keep making them because we keep going to see them and give away our money to another sequel. That’s why they are making a completely rebooted Spiderman film just years after the last hollywood sequel. It sells. If anything will change, we have to stop watching them….but I can’t cause I’m a comic nerd…..

    • mlewis1214 says:

      I said not ALL of us. And if that means just me, then FINE! lol. I’m sick of sequels. How many Saw movies do we really need? I know people keep seeing them, and that’s the only reason they’re still making them. That’s why a certain series of movies that I can’t stand keep being made. But that’s another post. 🙂

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