Snow White & the Huntsman

Released 06/01/12                              Rated: PG-13

I guess the reason why I wasn’t blown away by this movie is because I was promised awesomeness, and I didn’t get it. I’ve been trying to figure out why I wasn’t thrilled with it. My boyfriend’s http://www.movieposterdb.com/poster/d46b737aalways asking me “What were you expecting? What did you want out of it?” I wanted more of an “I’m going to teach you how to fight” type approach. The movie was sold to me as the Huntsman was going to train Snow White how to fight against the Queen. I wanted a sword in hand, training montage in the woods with the dwarves and whoever else they’d managed to scrounge up to fight with them. I wanted different forces from the kingdom(s) –of which I only saw a village– joining together with our refugees because they also believe Queen Ravenna’s reign must to come to an end. Instead Snow White just made a speech and lead everyone into battle. Lame!

Everybody’s going to say the Kristen Stewart was awful in this film. I don’t think she was awful, I just don’t think she was given a lot to do. Her dialogue wasn’t the greatest, and come to think of it, she didn’t have that many lines in the first place. Her role was basically just to look pretty and gawk at everything, which is a shame because I wanted more out of her character! She was supposed to go through a transformation. I wanted a more believable transition between innocent-girl-locked-in-a-tower-for-ten-years Snow White, and I’m-going-to-kill-the-queen Snow White. Am I expected to believe she simply had an epiphany and went “It’s on!” like “I’m going to wear this dress today.”? And on that note: am I supposed to believe she was able to stand a chance against this queen, let alone actually kill her? Then again, I’m clearly expected to believe in the romance kindling between the Huntsman and Snow White without any physical evidence of such an emotion. Who the hell told this team they could make a movie?

Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth were both awesome! I like how Ravenna’s vanity  wasn’t completely for vanity’s sake, like it was for all the other versions of her character; her beauty was a burden on her. I did have some issues with Theron’s old-age makeup. When the makeup was minimal, it was fine, it looked good, but when was supposed to look very aged it just looked bad. I didn’t buy it. The Huntsman on the other hand was a little bit of comic relief, at least in the beginning. This guy really was badass. He’s got weapons out the wahzoo, and didn’t seem to have any visible armor for the final battle whatsoever. Everyone else is up to their ears in mail and armor and he’s just like “I got this!” I believed that more than I did in Snow White.

The climactic battle could have been a little better. I loved the magic mirror, wish we had seen more actually, and I LOVED the …I’m going to call them the rock candy creatures. They were awesome. I thought the dark forest was very cool; a little bummed that the only creature we saw was the troll, but the fact that the forest had plants with a hallucinogenic defense system was a nice touch. The fairies were an interesting addition. When the fairies appeared everyone in the theater went “What the hell?!” Were they really necessary?

The only thing that really bothered me, and I’m talking this was the only thing in my head when I left the theater, was the fact that they couldn’t decided whether or not they wanted Snow White’s dress on or off her shoulders. I don’t mind if they were legitimately slipping off one shoulder, which they were occasionally, but it’s when her sleeves were pulled down to her elbows that truly annoyed me. And they did that for every chase scene. EVERY FREAKIN’ CHASE SCENE!!

 

It’s in no way, shape, or form believable.

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