Resident Evil 3, 4, & 5

Released 9/21/07                              Rated: R

Not as good as I thought. I didn’t really feel like there was to this movie. I did like the idea of the [SPOILER ALERT (skip to next paragraph)] Alice clones and the reenactments of the first movie. If they had delved a little further into that side of the story, to me, it would have been better. I also loved the first zombie in the lab. That was the cutest thing!

To me, all this movie was was sand. I didn’t feel any urgency throughout the whole story; granted; I didn’t see these movies in order, or in a descent time frame, not that that matters, but whatever. So yeah, I’ve pretty much already said everything I have to say on this one. A couple of fight scenes, a lot of desert, not much else.

(This is the only title in this post not in 3D)

Released 9/10/10                              Rated: R was actually my first RE movie. I knew nothing of the series, all though I had heard of it, and we were late, so I missed the usual recap of all events previous to get me up to speed. The action sequences felt like a video game to me. I realize now, that’s kinda the thing with this series.

We got some new monsters in a new setting, but the overall plot line has really started to turn lackluster here. Minus the main staple of the RE series this movie is pretty much the same as all those before it. The staple of the Indiana Jones movies is the map, for Bourne it’s car chases and the fighting, for 007 it’s the crazy stunts and the sex. For Resident Evil, it’s Milla Jovovich practically naked, as well as the recap of the main storyline.

Released 9/14/12                              Rated: R

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. The ONLY reason all these characters came back was to get people to see this movie!! Unfortunately, it didn’t do a thing for the movie itself, which was awful. I can honestly narrow the good things about this movie to three: the best fight was a two-on-one with Rain at the end, the best improvement was on the Licker, and the best acting was performed by a child.

I kid you not, during the climactic battle I was actually sitting there wishing someone would just die so the movie would end. I was also hoping, if it wasn’t Jill who died, that the “spider” would get taken off of Guillory’s character, praying that her acting would improve due to the fact that she was no longer under control. It was that bad.

They could have done so much with the story. It’s not like they’re following the video games or anything. The first movie was good. You didn’t know what was going on until the end; it had an element of mystery to it. I feel like from number two on we’ve been stuck on repeat. How was there not a more creative story this go round?? I was expecting a complete turn of events, some awesome mind-teaser, anything other than what I got. Forgive me for wanting something completely out of left field. I guess I’m asking for too much. And I want to know who wrote this script. I’m going to file this movie under “Dialogue I could have written better.” Was this thrown together in five days or something?

I’m tired of seeing the same movie over and over again. I’m done.

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